Lee Miller
"Lee Miller is one of the most renowned female icons of the 20th century - a unique individual admired as much for her free-spirit, creativity and intelligence as for her classical beauty."
It's at the V & A. Go!
Born 100 years ago this year, she was an amazing woman. The quintissential modern woman. The first supermodel, turned photographer and war correspondent. Can you imagine? She wrote an article on the Nazi death camps for Vogue in 1945. There are photos of her in Hitler's bath. It was strange looking at the photo of her as a child and realised that she was raped that year. This might (might?) have accounted for her rebellious nature. Well she took some fabulous photos and had an amazing life meeting and being friends with Picasso and Man Ray. There is a portrait of her by Picasso at the exit and lovely one of him with her son. How lucky to have been surrounded by so many amazing people of her time. An inspiration.
Afterwards I sat in the cafe and did a couple of drawings. I am finally realising how important this is. To sit and observer. I think Picasso said that art was a kind of diary or something like that. If you look at Alice Neel the people she painted are all of their time. Love her!
It's funny going back to the art now. I still block myself and find a billion other things to do instead yet this is what truly makes me happy, why do I avoid it? It is so satisfying. I have been reading a Margaret Forster novel about Gwen John. Excellent account of how it feels to be an artist and a girl. It tells of a painting by her and it's imagined journey (taking its chance) from one owner to another through the ages and its power, how people see and feel differently, about their individual responses. A good read. Like Atonement. I immediately wanted to start it from the beginning again as soon as I had finished.
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
Monday, 17 September 2007
Northampton Tri
Wellingborough Pasta Party
Blimey that is a long way, Northampton, not the course, which was so lovely once we got there. The chauffeur was indisposed so I had to drive c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y so as not to upset his equilibrium. We thought it rather a good idea to try Gill's cocktails the night before and he suffered more than most, mind you if you will use a champagne sized shot glass what on earth can you expect. What part of my training plan involves B52 loading 48 hours before?Hmm. So we arrived in the lovely town of Wellingborough in the dark, which by all accounts gives the town a more pleasant aspect. Bags down and lets find the nearest Italian (restaurant that is). This proved a bit tricky what with my sense of direction and not knowing where we were. It was like one of those programmes where everyone gets drunk, eats a takeaway and has a fight on the way home, just about at the going for a takeaway point.... There was lots of "don't look them in the eye" as we trawled the High Street for our very own pasta party. Luckily a slightly skewiff young lady showed us to a truly top Italian restaurant with its own entertainment...well a lady of advanced years and in an advanced state of inebriation dancing round the place. More calls of "don't look them in the eye". She was having a good time and not bad legs for an older
lady. Well done her! I have a friend who lives there who when asked where he would recommend going out to recommended not going out at all. Oh dear. Yes theIndian takeaways outnumbered the locals.
Ging gang gooly
Stayed in very clean simple bed and breakfast (we bought the trusted Tropical Crunch) and stayed three in a room. I was the athlete so got pick of the bed whilst poor Paolo got the one that was like sleeping on a rather enormous bag of coins. I did not try Karen's. That would have been a bit wrong creeping in there at 6.00am after my first nervous wee.
Off Roading
So off to Grendon Lakes and registering and not getting nervous. I am good at not getting too nervous until I am actually in the water. Funny like the rest of my life. It'll be fine then you realised that you have made no real preparations and you have to wing it. Well not quite, but in my mind. Parking was in a field and Paolo did a bit of offroading....loves that car. Support team was great getting me to the start and I got my lovely long-sleeved T-shirt.
Blast from the Past
Opposite me was Fiona Boxall of BZW days. I don't think she was as pleased to see me as I was her. Competition I expect. Ha. So googles and faffing over I was escorted (yes like someone being led to the dock - geddit!) by coach Paolo and fellow Tinman Karen to the start.
(Why are you talking like that?
If
I am saying rather and sounding a bit posh I think its because I have been talking to Caroline on the phone and reading a historical account of Gwen John. Sorry Caroline its my only explanation.) Okay this is taking a bit longer than it should so lets get down to business:
Blimey that is a long way, Northampton, not the course, which was so lovely once we got there. The chauffeur was indisposed so I had to drive c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y so as not to upset his equilibrium. We thought it rather a good idea to try Gill's cocktails the night before and he suffered more than most, mind you if you will use a champagne sized shot glass what on earth can you expect. What part of my training plan involves B52 loading 48 hours before?Hmm. So we arrived in the lovely town of Wellingborough in the dark, which by all accounts gives the town a more pleasant aspect. Bags down and lets find the nearest Italian (restaurant that is). This proved a bit tricky what with my sense of direction and not knowing where we were. It was like one of those programmes where everyone gets drunk, eats a takeaway and has a fight on the way home, just about at the going for a takeaway point.... There was lots of "don't look them in the eye" as we trawled the High Street for our very own pasta party. Luckily a slightly skewiff young lady showed us to a truly top Italian restaurant with its own entertainment...well a lady of advanced years and in an advanced state of inebriation dancing round the place. More calls of "don't look them in the eye". She was having a good time and not bad legs for an older
lady. Well done her! I have a friend who lives there who when asked where he would recommend going out to recommended not going out at all. Oh dear. Yes theIndian takeaways outnumbered the locals.
Ging gang gooly
Stayed in very clean simple bed and breakfast (we bought the trusted Tropical Crunch) and stayed three in a room. I was the athlete so got pick of the bed whilst poor Paolo got the one that was like sleeping on a rather enormous bag of coins. I did not try Karen's. That would have been a bit wrong creeping in there at 6.00am after my first nervous wee.
Off Roading
So off to Grendon Lakes and registering and not getting nervous. I am good at not getting too nervous until I am actually in the water. Funny like the rest of my life. It'll be fine then you realised that you have made no real preparations and you have to wing it. Well not quite, but in my mind. Parking was in a field and Paolo did a bit of offroading....loves that car. Support team was great getting me to the start and I got my lovely long-sleeved T-shirt.
Blast from the Past
Opposite me was Fiona Boxall of BZW days. I don't think she was as pleased to see me as I was her. Competition I expect. Ha. So googles and faffing over I was escorted (yes like someone being led to the dock - geddit!) by coach Paolo and fellow Tinman Karen to the start.
(Why are you talking like that?
If
I am saying rather and sounding a bit posh I think its because I have been talking to Caroline on the phone and reading a historical account of Gwen John. Sorry Caroline its my only explanation.) Okay this is taking a bit longer than it should so lets get down to business:
- The Swim - 35:06
- The Bike -1:34:57
- The Run -1:04:46
- The Result - 3:14:50
The Swim
I always seem to be the last one in and was nearly the last one out 20/20 in my age group, but my first season, my first Olympic. I felt really comfortable except for when I thought the boys in the next wave would catch me up and drown me. Luckily I was so far
off course they just raced by. I have to say I really rather enjoyed the swim and was amazed at my calmness. I felt safer knowing there were plenty of other people in there too.
See how tricky the navigation was for me (eyes left) . I got the first buoy in a perfectly straight line and was perfect tight turn (in my mind). I could hear Coach Paolo andTinman Karen shouting for me and then could not see the second buoy. I was as they say all over the place. Everyone else seemed to be miles (100m) away in front. Oh dear. Still I was not bothered, my mind was starting to wander a bit and I say lots of weed and little fish in the lake. I got a bit tangled up near the bank in the weed between buoy 1&2 then finally got there.
On the way to the third one I was starting to drift off literally and by the time I reached there
Coach Paolo thought I was really struggling, I wasn't - I was just not concentrating - probably due to tiredness, but felt fine. I heard him shout "Right" (scream actually) "Right? Right, if I go right I'll be going back the way I came???? oh sight. He's telling me to sight!" so I put my hand up to let him know that I had heard him. The next thing I know is a man in a canoe has paddled up (they are like the St John's ambulance of the lake) and asking me if I am okay. I thought crikey I must look like I am drowning then about 3 days laterrealised its because the International sign for stop the ride I want to get off in the swim is to lie on your back and raise an arm in the air. I am such an amateur. Still he did give me a useful tip. Rather than look for the buoy to look for the pylon (its much bigger and not even I could miss that). So onto buoy 4. Six hours later (well probably 5mins , but it felt like six hours) then back to land ahoy. This 4-5 trip just felt like I was in one of those crazy swimming pools they try and sell you at those expos. A giant bath with a wave machine at one end and you swim against it. Always cracks me up when you see someone actually give it a go on site. Reallyweird. Like a hamster wheel for triathletes (demented). You could do a proper winter indoor tri with one of those a running machine and a tracx. Need never leave your garage. I digress.
So finally stagger out of the swim and was so pleased to remember to get up the slope and over the timing mat as quickly as possible (usually do drunk standing still for too long) and then giggling all the way to transition. Team Angel was up on the bank telling me I had done 35 mins. I was really elated. Wow and I probably did 1700m in the end - at least.
I had cut my hand on a weed so was bleeding a bit on my lovely LOOK top. Tsk. Never mind. My transition was a bit slow, but what with my orthotics to manoeuvre not easy. Then giggling to the bike start where Coach Paolo made a comment about me not having to wheel it round the whole course. I was a bit worried about getting my feet in the pedals so rolled it half a
mile (okay 20m) up a bit.
The Bike
Hey ho this is where I ride like I have a dynamo fitted to the back wheel. Basically my cycling is really s-l-o-w and that's it really. Lovely villages and some encouragement from the 500 people who went past me. I think I overtook 2 people who swiftly overtook me. I remembered my
friend saying you can make it up on the downhills so I took my life inmy hands a couple of times, but still not so good. Someone asked how far was the finish and luckily (thank you for my odometer Coach Paolo) I could tell him. Well if I could do the maths. It's a bit of a joke that I cannot do simple maths. I was shouting "er 10, no 9 er hang on 12", but by this time he was miles in front and another hill hadloooooooomed up and I was standing on my smallest sprockets with someone saying "...make it easier for yourself. Change gear" Yes thanks for that. I have. No. 282 was friendly and we kept bumping into each other on the run, well not literally. He'd had a puncture on the bike and had to walk a long way back, I said he could have borrowed mine if I had known.Tsk. Never mind. I forget it's a race - note to self. Get in the zone.
I had a caffeine gel and then it was time for the 10k run.
The Run
For some reason this is really starting to be enjoyable. Despite the bad back, numb feet (what is that all about?) and bad hip I really do get a buzz out of running. I have always ended up injured before and given up, but this year I have reallyachieved so much and especially in the distances I can now finish. So it's 3 laps of the lakes so a bit off roady and not nearly as boring as the Human Race one...ugh tarmac, up and down....yawn. Terrible for the mind. This was a lovely course and there was plenty of support from other runners (the bus - three running together) and the organisers and of course Team Angel who ambushed me I think on the third lap, but although I was surprised, laughed so much, not too surprised. Very Coach Paolo!
The finish
I felt really strong at the end which gives me great hope for next year - I have entered the Switzerland Half Ironman. Oh. My. God! I know I can do the swim. I will be going on a long
distance training camp and well there will be the crowds to get me round....nervous laugh.
I always seem to be the last one in and was nearly the last one out 20/20 in my age group, but my first season, my first Olympic. I felt really comfortable except for when I thought the boys in the next wave would catch me up and drown me. Luckily I was so faroff course they just raced by. I have to say I really rather enjoyed the swim and was amazed at my calmness. I felt safer knowing there were plenty of other people in there too.
See how tricky the navigation was for me (eyes left) . I got the first buoy in a perfectly straight line and was perfect tight turn (in my mind). I could hear Coach Paolo andTinman Karen shouting for me and then could not see the second buoy. I was as they say all over the place. Everyone else seemed to be miles (100m) away in front. Oh dear. Still I was not bothered, my mind was starting to wander a bit and I say lots of weed and little fish in the lake. I got a bit tangled up near the bank in the weed between buoy 1&2 then finally got there.
On the way to the third one I was starting to drift off literally and by the time I reached there
Coach Paolo thought I was really struggling, I wasn't - I was just not concentrating - probably due to tiredness, but felt fine. I heard him shout "Right" (scream actually) "Right? Right, if I go right I'll be going back the way I came???? oh sight. He's telling me to sight!" so I put my hand up to let him know that I had heard him. The next thing I know is a man in a canoe has paddled up (they are like the St John's ambulance of the lake) and asking me if I am okay. I thought crikey I must look like I am drowning then about 3 days laterrealised its because the International sign for stop the ride I want to get off in the swim is to lie on your back and raise an arm in the air. I am such an amateur. Still he did give me a useful tip. Rather than look for the buoy to look for the pylon (its much bigger and not even I could miss that). So onto buoy 4. Six hours later (well probably 5mins , but it felt like six hours) then back to land ahoy. This 4-5 trip just felt like I was in one of those crazy swimming pools they try and sell you at those expos. A giant bath with a wave machine at one end and you swim against it. Always cracks me up when you see someone actually give it a go on site. Reallyweird. Like a hamster wheel for triathletes (demented). You could do a proper winter indoor tri with one of those a running machine and a tracx. Need never leave your garage. I digress.
So finally stagger out of the swim and was so pleased to remember to get up the slope and over the timing mat as quickly as possible (usually do drunk standing still for too long) and then giggling all the way to transition. Team Angel was up on the bank telling me I had done 35 mins. I was really elated. Wow and I probably did 1700m in the end - at least.
I had cut my hand on a weed so was bleeding a bit on my lovely LOOK top. Tsk. Never mind. My transition was a bit slow, but what with my orthotics to manoeuvre not easy. Then giggling to the bike start where Coach Paolo made a comment about me not having to wheel it round the whole course. I was a bit worried about getting my feet in the pedals so rolled it half a
mile (okay 20m) up a bit.
The Bike
Hey ho this is where I ride like I have a dynamo fitted to the back wheel. Basically my cycling is really s-l-o-w and that's it really. Lovely villages and some encouragement from the 500 people who went past me. I think I overtook 2 people who swiftly overtook me. I remembered my
friend saying you can make it up on the downhills so I took my life inmy hands a couple of times, but still not so good. Someone asked how far was the finish and luckily (thank you for my odometer Coach Paolo) I could tell him. Well if I could do the maths. It's a bit of a joke that I cannot do simple maths. I was shouting "er 10, no 9 er hang on 12", but by this time he was miles in front and another hill hadloooooooomed up and I was standing on my smallest sprockets with someone saying "...make it easier for yourself. Change gear" Yes thanks for that. I have. No. 282 was friendly and we kept bumping into each other on the run, well not literally. He'd had a puncture on the bike and had to walk a long way back, I said he could have borrowed mine if I had known.Tsk. Never mind. I forget it's a race - note to self. Get in the zone.
I had a caffeine gel and then it was time for the 10k run.
The Run
For some reason this is really starting to be enjoyable. Despite the bad back, numb feet (what is that all about?) and bad hip I really do get a buzz out of running. I have always ended up injured before and given up, but this year I have reallyachieved so much and especially in the distances I can now finish. So it's 3 laps of the lakes so a bit off roady and not nearly as boring as the Human Race one...ugh tarmac, up and down....yawn. Terrible for the mind. This was a lovely course and there was plenty of support from other runners (the bus - three running together) and the organisers and of course Team Angel who ambushed me I think on the third lap, but although I was surprised, laughed so much, not too surprised. Very Coach Paolo!
The finish
I felt really strong at the end which gives me great hope for next year - I have entered the Switzerland Half Ironman. Oh. My. God! I know I can do the swim. I will be going on a long
distance training camp and well there will be the crowds to get me round....nervous laugh.
Angelique Hartigan is unwell - an apology
....she lied. I have been so busy with the art and the web and the tri and three days away that I have not updated this. My other half said you dont have to do it everyday do you and so I let it slip.
Monday, 3 September 2007
Weekend
Ramblings - other peoples dreams are so boring. Sorry.
Been a bit up and down over the weekend. Feeling emotionally overwhelmed with one thing and another. Day that should have been one of great happiness just one of great sadness because of a death and not being mentioned coming up to spill over and the artistic temperament getting the better of me. I don't know if it's because I am Aquarian that I cannot tell someone when they are hurting me or because I am so sensitive myself that I don't want to risk hurting their feelings. Both I suppose. That is what friends are for and my sports car. I have been having the craziest and sometimes prophetic dreams of late. I don't know if it's due to the lack of continuous sleep or just a blip. They seem to take over my entire day and leave me somewhat removed from reality like ghosts. I dreamt (I can hear you groaning from here) about a person I thought was a friend and who has dumped me but I don't know why - that bit is true, which has really bothered me. In the dream she explained why - that I was unsympathetic about a death of her friend and it was all a great misunderstanding. The dream was so vivid. I was haunted all day and to be fair really am still haunted by this as I saw her last week and she was so cool with me when I attempted to say hello. I genuinely have no idea what I have done to deserve the cold shoulder. People say to me just move on forget about it, but I am petrified that I have really hurt them or there has been a miscommunication only too chicken to ask. So there we are.
On the Art
I entered the Lynn Stainers Painters prize this year yesterday and had an afternoon of feeling both sad and glad that I was doing something active about my painting. Shame about the sadness that has developed over the weekend. Hopefully it will pass or I will have to speak up. I wish I could just say what is on my mind and it be over with. Hard to find the words. . . ooh she is off again. Right I drove up to 17 Carlton Terrace to deliver Life Models painting. I don't think I have a photo (rests teeth on lower lip - oops) round the back of Pall Mall and found it easy enough, had to go to cash point and get entry fee out and managed to do all that without paying for parking. Result! The blokes doing the taking of the items must have thought what a nutter. I came in reasonably cheery to drop it off then by the time I had the cash I was blubbing again. Maybe they thought I was tight and could not bear to part with my money. . . hmm or painting. Then is was off to buy materials with my Life Drawing Teacher in Paperchase. I was just enough time for a coffee early aaaaaaaaaand found another free parking space. Double result! So there I was in Cafe Nero - Tottenham Court Road reading Atonement over a very good cappuccino and tears running down my face in the window. I wondered if the passing pedestrians were thinking oooh what a moving book or that must be very strong coffee. Then off to Paperchase to run riot like a small child in the sweet shop at all the different pens in all the colours. Not so exciting as I remember it, but I am very excited about using my new Tria pens with 3 whole nibs. Oh yeah baby!
We ended up just dumping the car at home and going for a drink in Westow House which had a crazy salsa soul disco going on. Excellent. Suits my mood I thought being already a bit hammered on a bottle of wine and not much food at home. We went to check on our work that was up in the Signals Exhibition and stumbled on the disco. Had a boogie and a laugh. Made me feel a bit better. Well it is Monday now so start of new week of sorting out studio and all that that entails.
Tri
Angry run yesterday morning - fast once round park which I thought might get the hurt out of my system, but just made me look mad (thankfully wearing dark glasses). I managed to stop myself breaking down on the way in, but lost it up the hill on the way back once I thought of the ultimately most sad event of last week which had me crying on the sofa at home and being angry and upset all day. Ooh she must be working hard all those passers by must have thought.
Web
No web. It's the weekend!
Been a bit up and down over the weekend. Feeling emotionally overwhelmed with one thing and another. Day that should have been one of great happiness just one of great sadness because of a death and not being mentioned coming up to spill over and the artistic temperament getting the better of me. I don't know if it's because I am Aquarian that I cannot tell someone when they are hurting me or because I am so sensitive myself that I don't want to risk hurting their feelings. Both I suppose. That is what friends are for and my sports car. I have been having the craziest and sometimes prophetic dreams of late. I don't know if it's due to the lack of continuous sleep or just a blip. They seem to take over my entire day and leave me somewhat removed from reality like ghosts. I dreamt (I can hear you groaning from here) about a person I thought was a friend and who has dumped me but I don't know why - that bit is true, which has really bothered me. In the dream she explained why - that I was unsympathetic about a death of her friend and it was all a great misunderstanding. The dream was so vivid. I was haunted all day and to be fair really am still haunted by this as I saw her last week and she was so cool with me when I attempted to say hello. I genuinely have no idea what I have done to deserve the cold shoulder. People say to me just move on forget about it, but I am petrified that I have really hurt them or there has been a miscommunication only too chicken to ask. So there we are.
On the Art
I entered the Lynn Stainers Painters prize this year yesterday and had an afternoon of feeling both sad and glad that I was doing something active about my painting. Shame about the sadness that has developed over the weekend. Hopefully it will pass or I will have to speak up. I wish I could just say what is on my mind and it be over with. Hard to find the words. . . ooh she is off again. Right I drove up to 17 Carlton Terrace to deliver Life Models painting. I don't think I have a photo (rests teeth on lower lip - oops) round the back of Pall Mall and found it easy enough, had to go to cash point and get entry fee out and managed to do all that without paying for parking. Result! The blokes doing the taking of the items must have thought what a nutter. I came in reasonably cheery to drop it off then by the time I had the cash I was blubbing again. Maybe they thought I was tight and could not bear to part with my money. . . hmm or painting. Then is was off to buy materials with my Life Drawing Teacher in Paperchase. I was just enough time for a coffee early aaaaaaaaaand found another free parking space. Double result! So there I was in Cafe Nero - Tottenham Court Road reading Atonement over a very good cappuccino and tears running down my face in the window. I wondered if the passing pedestrians were thinking oooh what a moving book or that must be very strong coffee. Then off to Paperchase to run riot like a small child in the sweet shop at all the different pens in all the colours. Not so exciting as I remember it, but I am very excited about using my new Tria pens with 3 whole nibs. Oh yeah baby!
We ended up just dumping the car at home and going for a drink in Westow House which had a crazy salsa soul disco going on. Excellent. Suits my mood I thought being already a bit hammered on a bottle of wine and not much food at home. We went to check on our work that was up in the Signals Exhibition and stumbled on the disco. Had a boogie and a laugh. Made me feel a bit better. Well it is Monday now so start of new week of sorting out studio and all that that entails.
Tri
Angry run yesterday morning - fast once round park which I thought might get the hurt out of my system, but just made me look mad (thankfully wearing dark glasses). I managed to stop myself breaking down on the way in, but lost it up the hill on the way back once I thought of the ultimately most sad event of last week which had me crying on the sofa at home and being angry and upset all day. Ooh she must be working hard all those passers by must have thought.
Web
No web. It's the weekend!
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